narrated by Rebecca
I asked Quint to come back home, after the fiasco with Paloma. I hope it’s not a mistake, but I don’t want a silly girl to ruin my life-time commitment. Everything has gone back to normal, maybe a little better than normal. We started trying for a baby in the summer, right after Scarlett’s fourth birthday, and that alone is an improvement.
There’s still room for improvement though.
I thought I might be pregnant when the powdered cheese in the macaroni made me gag. I couldn’t even sit down to eat dinner with the family, cause the smell of it.
We confirmed that we were expecting on Scarlett’s first day of school. I couldn’t say if it was the pregnancy or the fact that my baby was old enough for school, but the smell of pencils and paper in the classrooms made me nauseous. Quint woke up to come with, and I asked for the morning off at the diner, so we could take her together. She allowed us this little moment, because she was terrified of school, but she’s really anxious to ride on the bus.
Quint surprised me and was even more sentimental than I was, but Scarlett is a total daddy’s girl.
He even went so far as to try and bribe Ms. Miriam to give Scarlett special treatment. He went on with her about how smart Scarlett is, and he reads to her every night, and she just has a thirst for knowledge. From the doorway, it didn’t look like Miriam was really listening. I tried to tell him that Scarlett will show all those things to her teacher, without him meddling, but he just had to try anyway.
After the first day, I went back to working my days at the diner, and Scarlett gets to ride the bus. She is struggling a little with her classwork, but the bus ride cheers her up every morning. Her favorite part is driving down the giant mountainside into South Port, which is my least favorite part, especially with winter approaching.
She really is a genius though, and I wonder if Ms. Miriam is being particularly hard on her because of Quint talking to her. Even a genius at four, isn’t smarter than an adult, so I really think Ms. Miriam is being too difficult with her.
I’m really looking forward to having a sibling for Scarlett though, she’s very demanding of our time. I adore doting on her, and Quint loves reading to her, many times a day. But I really want to start my own pottery shop here in town, and she hates when I work.
Nights are just us most of the time, with Quint being a paramedic. He gets called out of the house even on his nights off if there is an emergency. They only do that if it’s really serious, or if the emergency is right here in Millwood, because the hospital is about as far away from us, as you can get.
I get nightmares with Quint gone regularly, probably from the pregnancy, but I hate being alone at night. At least we have Gulliver to help protect us, though I’m not sure if he’d actually attack a burglar or whimper in the corner.
I’m just so happy with our schedules right now though, with me working days, and Quint working nights, it means someone is always home. So if Scarlett gets sick, she can stay home from school with her Daddy. And when I get home, she’s there waiting for me, and we get to spend a few hours together as a family before Quint heads in. I know this type of schedule wouldn’t work well for everyone, but I’m happy with it.
I’m trying to convince my college friend, Grace into having a baby now too. It’s not too hard, since she’s been wanting a baby now for a few years, but Benjamin wants to buy a house first. Right now they just rent a small one bedroom duplex, right next door to me actually.
While we talk, Scarlett is usually entertaining Lily, she really adores toddlers, so I’m looking forward to her having that relationship with her own brother or sister.
None of us really kept in touch with Janelle, and after my fall-out with Violet-Adele, Grace and Reed are the only ones from the college days that I still hang out with. I’m really hoping that me and Grace can have babies about the same time, so they can be in school together. She’s so good with kids, that it seems a crime that she doesn’t have her own yet. It’s just too bad there aren’t any houses on our block for sale, I don’t want her to move way out to the country by her parents.
Perhaps wishing that hard for Grace to have a baby too, is part of the reason things went wrong. But I had gone in for an 8 week check up at the end of the month for some cramping. They did an ultrasound to check on things, and assured me that it was so early that they couldn’t always find a heartbeat yet. Sadly though, they could tell that it was a loss. I made the drive all the way from the hospital, without crying one tear, just driving in shock. I couldn’t hold it together once I got home though, I’m not sure how long I stood outside, but the sun set, and I was still there.
Quint took the night off, and we tucked Scarlett into bed together. I couldn’t stand to leave her in her room all alone, afraid that she’d be taken away from me as well.
Dr. Russo-Traver suggested we wait three months before trying again, Quint sounded like he wanted to start right away. But I told him that I’m not ready for that yet, I was still too heartbroken over this one, and couldn’t imagine the fear of losing another one. He was understanding, we didn’t have any complications with Scarlett, so I wasn’t expecting this at all.
I think I’m going to take these next three months to just focus on the family I have right now, and watching Scarlett as she scrunches up her face to really throw that stick for Gulliver.
And pay off our debt, so we can get buy a three bedroom house. Maybe in a few months, Grace can buy a house too, and we can still be next door neighbors.
Notes: I was heartbroken for Rebecca when she lost the baby. The family sat down to eat dinner, and her hunger was a bit low, but not insanely. She was in the middle of eating, when she stood up and lost the baby. 😦 Poor thing, she instantly got the fear of having another baby, and they never tried again to get pregnant. I had them get together A TON, hoping they’d try (both set at two for family size), but they didn’t.
They really ought to move too, they live in a two bedroom house, but I can put the crib in their room to buy them time. And thankfully they paid off their bills of $1200 at the end, one day before the repo man would have made his appearance.
Scarlett is VERY demanding. She wants a book read to her constantly, when Quint finishes reading to her, she asks again, and he goes back to reading again. He would give her the moon if he could.