quality aftermath

april 2015
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Annie Carver (25 years), Ella Carver (3 years),

narrated by: Annie

Something’s gotta give, I think to myself. Ella’s three years old now, and everything still feels messy and lonely. She’s constantly getting into messes, if I leave her alone for just a minute, she hightails it to the toilet to splash in the water.

The best part of my day is nap time. Two hours to myself.

But she never wakes up happy, she’s always crying loudly, in this high pitch scream.

The only thing she really likes to do is dance, and play outside on the toddler slide. But it rains a lot in the spring, and she gets upset when I tell her no.

Before Christmas, Cara yelled at me about Matthew. I was upset with her at the time, but she was right in the end. Matthew doesn’t want anything to do with Ella, and not really with me ether. We hooked up that night, and I haven’t heard from him since. I’ve grown weary of his games, and decided that if anything was going to change, it had to start with me.

So I called Cara up and told her I needed a new look to go with my new attitude. I really needed some adult time, and to do something nice for myself.

We went to Salon Sisters, years ago Grace lived in the same apartment complex as me, and I thought it’d be fun to stop in for a visit.

Grace and Cara made a big deal about how great my new style was, which made me feel great.

I was hopeful that my forced changes were going to be just what I needed, until we were leaving and I saw Emma at the register, standing there, obviously pregnant. Then my stomach dropped, and I forced myself to look away like I hadn’t seen her.

We had to pick up Cara’s daughter Lulu on the way to the diner, and I just had to ask if Emma was having Matthew’s baby. Cara didn’t know, and didn’t think it was appropriate to discuss that in front of Lulu.

I felt sick, thinking of Ella with another half-sibling. It was bad enough that there was Flint and Jett that she’d likely never know. But to add another one…

I tried talking about it in a whisper, needing to talk about this, but Cara was not interested in the conversation. She said that it wasn’t likely Matthews anyway, what were the odds? I felt that they were pretty strong odds, personally.

Most of Cara’s attention was on Lulu, talking about how she gets to bring the class gerbil home from school next week, and how proud she was of her doing well in school. She’d also reprimand her when she behaved inappropriately.

I sat there, nodding my head when it was appropriate, but mostly thinking two things. First, what if Emma was having Matthew’s baby? My gut just told me it had to be. And second, what five year old, in their right mind, eats like this out in public?

By the time we were done eating, I was ready to go home and deal with my own child. I desperately like her more than other people’s kids, even though she’s always been too much for me to handle. She just freaks out about everything, bath time, rain, staying out of toilets.

But she’s still mine, and I prefer her over others.

The last thing on my list of changes, was getting my own transportation. I’ve been working as a phone fortune teller for a while now, and managed to save a little bit of money to buy an old beater. This meant that I wouldn’t have to take a taxi into South Port anymore, and that would start saving me money right away.

My neighbor Michelle babysits for me while I work the late shift, but isn’t available to help out during the day, since she works too. So I had to hire a babysitter, and I was more nervous about this then I thought I would be. I ended up going with a girl named Charity, who came highly recommended.

Ella seemed to like her well enough.

I ended up going to Juan’s to buy an old Ford Pinto. In the process, the car dealer, Cesar ended up asking for my number, and I gave it. I think that the old Annie would have given it just the same, but this time I did it to specifically move forward. Plus he’s pretty good looking.

He called to go on a date, and I arranged for Charity to come babysit again. The date seemed to be hit or miss, sometimes I thought he was more interested in ordering his next drink than anything I had to say.

Other times he seemed kind of sweet. Embarrassingly I admitted that this was my first time dancing, besides Sadie Hawkins dance in the tenth grade. My Dad never allowed me to do anything outside of school, and I’d only been able to go cause he had landed himself in jail for the weekend, from driving under the influence.

We went on a few more dates, before I invited him to come and meet Ella. Each date got easier and less clumsy, and I was pretty sure he liked me, since he called to arrange all these dates.

I was still nervous when he knocked on the door though. Ella hadn’t even met her Dad, not really. He never sat down or even acknowledged her with a hello. And here was this man, who was not her father, that was coming over to specifically meet her. He wanted to, he had said.

Ella was shy from him. But he seemed to genuinely be interested in her. There isn’t anything much hotter than a guy taking interest in my daughter, I didn’t think it’d feel as great as it did.

He even brought her this odd teddy bear in a jogging suit. I teased that it was a little strange looking, and I think I hurt his feelings a little. Ella seemed to like it, though she used it primarily as a chew toy.

We put Ella to bed that night, and it felt good having someone else in the house to talk to when she was asleep. In the past, I’d lay on the sofa, bored, happy that Ella was asleep, but crazily missing her. I felt nervous to be alone with Cesar though, other than Matthew, it’s all I’ve known for a long time, and Matthew is clearly not a good choice for me.

When I told Cesar about my crazy past and Ella’s Dad, he didn’t seem to judge me, though I’ve always clearly been the other woman. He did make it clear though, that he can’t be in a relationship with me, unless I’m only in one with him.

I didn’t know if I was going to be good at being in a real relationship, but waking up in the morning to him making eggs and bacon for us, was probably the best morning I’ve ever had.

————–
While Annie rolled wants for Matthew at Cara’s house, she only had one want for him this time. She had the want to go on a date, and so Cesar it was, since she met him and liked him at the car lot. While on the date she rolled her one want for Matthew – To marry him. But it rolled away very quickly, and didn’t reappear. Matthew didn’t call at all, and while her first date with Cesar wasn’t amazing, her second date was.

Her big problem with Cesar is that they don’t have the most conversation topics… so I don’t know how well they’d do for long term. We’ll see. But I really hope someone marries Cesar, cause he’s a cutie. His parents own the two car lots, and he manages the cheaper one, and I’ve been wanting someone to marry him forever!

He has chemistry with Eva, and did some flirting with her when she bought her car, but neither had wants, so nothing. He has chemistry with quite a few of my ladies actually.

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12 thoughts on “quality aftermath

  1. I hope she is able to really move on and that Matthew doesn’t try to spoil anything. I like Cesar, but I feel like they’re moving really fast right now.

    ~Apple Valley

    1. Thanks for reading!

      I agree that Annie just seems to move from one thing to the next. I’d really like to see her just be a Mom and settle down with Ella a bit more. But she rolls tons of romantic wants and is constantly wanting someone to be with. She has a lot of high chemistry, at the diner the cook was heart-farting over her, and she doesn’t have any restraint herself.

  2. Awww, this felt so hopeful. I’m glad she’s trying to shake Matthew. Cesar seems good for her – not quite sure she’ll be good for him though, lol! But I guess we’ll see.

    I just had to LOL though, he just happened to be at the right car lot, and she’s like, okay, you’ll do! 😀 We know, she doesn’t set the bar very high. But Cesar seems to exceed that bar, so at least there’s that! 😉

    I always love hearing from Annie! She’s unlike any other character I’ve ever read. She’s so disappointed by her life, but at the same time, so full of hope. I love to see her and Ella getting by a little better these days.

    1. Thanks Laura! Yeah, I’m not sure if Annie is good for anyone, but she definitely needs someone who is good for her. Cesar does exceed the bar, he’s one of my nonplayables, and his family is really sweet. His Mom, Maria would be *thrilled* to meet Annie and Ella, I’m sure of that. And his Dad is nothing but fun. But Annie makes a lot of mistakes….

  3. I really hope Cesar can help Annie move on from Matthew. It’s good to see that she was trying to make a lot of positive changes in her life, even before Cesar, so it sounds like a good sign. Matthew is just bad news all around!

    Cesar seems a good guy, which Annie needs! But it’s early days right now, so who knows how it will turn out? I have to agree with Annie though – seeing a guy who’s good with kids is awesome. Especially when it’s poor Ella, whose father has never taken an interest in her at all.

    On a lighter note, that is some amazing shovelling Lulu is doing there! Reminds me of how Tessa used to eat, which she learnt from her charming father!

    1. Thanks Carla! It really is early! I don’t see Annie as the type to take things slow, and I really think she should be doing that. Take her positive attitude and give that attention to Ella. I’m looking forward to seeing how things go with Cesar, and how Annie does in a monotonous relationship. I don’t think I’m as hopeful as her, though I really like Cesar… they could be a cute family with the little rundown car dealership. But I’m getting ahead of myself!

      lol that’s funny that Tessa ate like that too! I saw that, and was like, LULU! What are you doing!

  4. That’s great that she found a (single!) man who seems to really like her and Ella. Here’s hoping that Matthew doesn’t suddenly want to enter the picture and get crazy possessive.

    Besides a man who is great with your child, one who cooks is equally as hot!

    1. Thanks Choco! 🙂 I don’t know if Matthew would ever want to be involved in Ella’s life. I wonder how all of that will go down once she’s older… or in school with her half-brothers. Annie didn’t go around broadcasting who had gotten her pregnant, since it happened before she moved to South Port… so there is some mystery there for most of the population.

      Agreed that a man who cooks and likes kids is pretty hot!

  5. I hope it can work between those two, she really needs a sweet guy, and Cesar looks like one of those.
    Anyway if it doesn’t work out, I think you’re right, and Cesar has to somehow become a playable 🙂

    I hope Annie can get over Matthew and won’t always run back to him, I hope cesar can help her with that.

    Awe, Ella is so adorable!
    And LOL at Lulu!

    1. Thanks Tanja! 🙂 I do hope it works too, Cesar is pretty sweet, and he has a nice functional family, which I think Annie would enjoy if she got past being self-destructive.

      I do adore Ella, I think she’ll be a handful if she keeps up her fussing. She is probably pretty bored though, her only toy is that stuffed jogging bear. Annie has enough issues paying bills (and buying a car) that she doesn’t think (have wants) to buy toys.

  6. I’m glad Annie is trying to move on from Matthew. She deserves a good, stable, committed guy. Poor Annie seems like she’s really struggling with being a single mom, and I hope things get better for her.

    1. Thanks Sarah! I agree that she deserves a good, committed guy, and she definitely can use the stability factor. I want things to get easier for these two girls, and hope that Annie doesn’t do something stupid. She’s not the most faithful girl, while I don’t write in all of her encounters, she’s had a few since moving to South Port.

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